Chapter 2: 110. "Quit stalling. Where's your father?"

Summary: A day in the life of the Sparda family, back before everything went horribly wrong. Well, more wrong than normal, at least. In hindsight, she had been terribly foolish. Relinquishing control for even a moment seemed to always end in disaster. This outcome was nothing new. What made it all the more infuriating was that this had not been caused by carelessness or a momentary lapse of judgment, but had been willfully orchestrated by the individual that was supposed to be taking charge of this situation. Devils truly did thrive off of chaos, especially one of this caliber. But how could an individual be so prim and proper yet still manage to breed such an extreme level of anarchy in such short order? Why, by being Sparda, of course. The twins stood before her in various degrees of disarray. Vergil opted to look in any direction but directly at her with his hands behind his back while Dante stood next to him and tried his very best to act like a sweet little angel, despite the fact that he was currently covered in what she hoped was red paint, but was more than certain was actually blood due to the fact that it gave off a coppery smell and that this was her youngest son after all. But both of the children were in better condition than the room they stood in the doorway of, attempting to block the matriarch of the family's entry. Behind them, Eva could make out a split in half coffee table, stuffing from the couch and its decorative pillows tossed about, and what seemed to be the end table laying on its side with its accompanying lamp laying shattered on the floor next to it. And... was that broken glass obscured by the drapes hanging from a broken wall rod?! Never in her entire life had she seen her children wreak such havoc. Were they wild? Call the term a "vast understatement." Did they normally shred the household furniture? Absolutely not. They saved their destructive tendencies for the playground equipment outside. And each other. And Vergil's books if Dante was in a bad mood. And then Dante's toys if his older twin found out about the books... But the furniture was something else entirely. Sure the children might like to terrorize one another, but neither one of them wanted to invoke the wrath of their parents. After all, their father was an all-powerful demonic dark knight, and their mother was practically a force of nature. What few plans that had required that they make it to adulthood, and destroying the house wasn't going to further that goal. Something else was going on here... Eva folded her arms behind her back and clasped her fingers together, leaning in to look her children in the eyes as she spoke to them. Her voice was clear and stern, but she took careful steps to contain her emotions. Her anger was not aimed at them. "Quit stalling. Where's your father?" Dante shrugged nebulously at the question, trying to play off his obvious involvement. Vergil shifted uncomfortably, looking down and not saying anything. Eva squinted at them disapprovingly. They weren't so much lying to her as they were refusing to answer. She wasn't sure if that was a good or a bad thing, to be honest. She gestured to the decimated living room with a nod of her head. "I see the living room, boys. Since neither of you seems to want to tell me what happened here, perhaps you missing father will be of greater use to me?" The two young boys turned as pale as the crown of white hair on their heads and visibly panicked, clearly unsure of what to do. Vergil was keeping extraordinarily quiet, folding so far into himself that it was a wonder he hadn't turned inside out. Dante looked as though he were going to say something until Vergil shook his head at him and turned to their mother. She was clearly over this charade. "I don't think father would like it if we told you what happened, mother..." Eva had to restrain herself from giving him a wide-eyed "you don't say" stare. "Oh, I'm certain he wouldn't. But I still need an explanation for what happened." She looked him firmly in the eyes as she spoke" An honest answer, Vergil." Vergil sighed and shook his head as if resigning himself to the grave. So much for his adulthood plans. "Well-" Before the young boy could finish speaking, what was left of the large damaged living room window shattered into thousands of tiny shards of glass and the drapes attached to them shredded as they fell to the ground with a heavy thud. The remains of what had been a towering demon came crashing through the window, shaking the house from the sheer weight of the impact. Part of the creature crashed through part of the roof, carving a deep, wide gash through the ceiling as it settled next to the rest of the carcass. Blood seeped out of the wretched creature and into the floorboards, irreparably staining them crimson. A tall white-haired figure in a purple overcoat stepped from around the corner of the beast, cleaning off the blade of Yamato with its scabbard. Upon noticing Eva, he stopped dead in his tracks, clearly caught dead in the act. "Ah... hello dear. It seems I might have brought my work home with me while you were away shopping." He looked up at the massive gaping hole in the roof and sighed, clearly aware that he was living on borrowed time. "It appears we will need to redecorate... and hire a woodworker." Dante pointed at the broken window, a slightly amused look on his face. "You broke the window, too. And the wall. And the roof! The whole house is broken!" Vergil snickered briefly under his breath. "Father, I believe we need a new house. Dante is right. The house has been crippled." Sparda stared blankly at his two sons. They were trying to get him killed to spare themselves, weren't they? The tactician in him was slightly amused, but he was too anxious about his wife's expressionless stare to give it much thought. "Eva, my dear, you look pale... Perhaps you should take a seat and catch-" Eva started to laugh hysterically. "Seat?! There is no couch, Sparda!" Against their better judgment, the twins started to laugh as well, albeit from amusement instead of fury. Sparda stared at the three of them, convinced that his immortal life was at an end. Eva nearly laughed herself to the floor as she reached over and grabbed the doorway for support. She turned towards the hall and started down it, absolutely over her limit for one day. This was a lot to process, even for the woman who had married the Dark Knight Sparda. "Sparda, get rid of that thing and fix this mess. Dante, be a dear and clean yourself up. And Vergil..." Vergil peered at his mother blankly, the only thing in the room that wasn't a mess at that moment in time. "Yes, mother?" "Remain as you are. You may be the only clean thing left in this wing of the house." With that, Eva vacated the room. It wasn't even past noon yet, and she was already ready to crawl back into bed and stay there. Sparda had better hope the upper floor master suite was still intact.